Moira

MOIRA

(Gaelic for Maureen)

By Sue Real

My search for truth has brought me down many paths; but none as powerful as the journeys that I take within my own consciousness. One particular trip led me to discover a joy that brought me higher wisdom, as well as, a foray in time and an encounter with a past love.

At my age, I am now considered one of the elders in my coven. Before I continue let me say, that as a Wiccan High Priestess, I hate to disappoint you but we do not practice any bizarre sexual rituals or mangle small animals to drink their blood, which is Wicca Hollywood style.

All we do is pray to the Goddess, the divine mother. It is a communion with the forces of nature and the powers in the universe who provide for our well being.

I will admit that there is something sensual about raising energy with other people and sharing a beautiful experience of both our masculine and feminine sides.

However, being a curious person I wanted to explore avenues of consciousness on my own. I longed for a mentor who could take me to the next level. I had been down many roads in search of truth and have even practiced the Taoist sexual Yoga in which one can achieve extended orgasims by using certain breathing techniques. I also tried Tantric Yogic practices with partners both male and female and on occasion without one.

I still longed to merge my soul with someone who I could confide in and be inspired by on the spiritual level as well as the physical. I don’t think that I am talking about what people call a “soul mate”, I’m not sure if there is only one person in a lifetime that can fill this stringent order. It is too much pressure and too idealistic. We have had many lives and many mates that we have connected to for the purpose of fulfilling our life lessons.

I just thought that I could connect with someone who was working on themselves as I did and could connect with my personal “Grail Quest” because they were seeking just such a cup themselves. Someone who hungers and thirsts for a divine connection and sees the world for what it is – illusion. I always imagined that they would come to me in an earthly form. I was surprised, when I experimented and took a journey, en ilio tempore, in time outside of time, to find them there. I had been warned that this type of astral travel should not be attempted by oneself; because there is a danger of getting stuck and not being able to get back or perhaps meeting up with entities that are not so friendly.

This night, I lit my candles, put out the lights and burned some jasmine incense, as I prepared to expand myself into another dimension. Knowledge does not always come from books. Sometimes just getting still and listening to ones own heart and inner voice can bring inspiration and produce great creative work gleaned form the Akashic record. However, I never expected to uncover a sensual side of the spirit realm.

I took some deep breaths and sounded out an OM or two and began to call out to my spirit guides to give me direction and lead me to a path and a new level of enlightened consciousness. I went through waves of light that were like clouds at midnight. I was happy to be in such a deep trance and totally relaxed and free of the tensions of daily life.

I suddenly felt a profound presence which loomed heavily over me. Surrounding me, like a recurring dream that you try to remember but can not, yet you know that it was not a bad one. I then became aware that this was not a random or casual meeting, I knew this soul. I felt an energy and I knew with all my being that I was with someone whom I had experienced and had intimate knowledge of from a time long past.

A vision came to me, something like the experience I had when being hypnotized to do past life regression. I became aware of being someplace else, a farmhouse made of rough hewn stones and wood. I was on a couch and a man was sleeping with his head on my lap. This was a time when there were no electronic gadgets just soft candle light and the stillness and peace you feel inside an old country home. And I realize that it is Liam my lover from many lives ago, who I am holding in my arms.

The tenderness of the moment was so beautiful it filled by eyes with tears as I remembered our love and the passion we had for one another. A love that we said would never die. I was pleased by this experience and yet a bit frightened. The emotions that I felt where both joyous and also sad because I recalled the pain I felt when I lost him in that lifetime. Liam and I had everything that a couple could want from joining with another living being; love, caring, passionate sex and a spiritual commitment to the true meaning of two people becoming one.

I was aware that I was having two experiences at once. The act of physically sitting in the Lotus position and of being in this vivid dream of a past life. I was alone yet my senses were being stimulated and I began to throb and contract as if some one were touching me. I was being taken to a heightened state of sexual readiness that usually comes after much foreplay. I remembered that just the sight of him sitting across the room from him would make me ache and feel feverish with uncontrollable longing.

But who was here now? Was this an illusion, a dream, a fantasy, was I awake or sleeping?And then I heard it, the disembodied voice say, “Come to me love. I have missed ye for so long, I could not come to you this lifetime, I had much work to finish in this realm” “Come to me now Moira” he said again.

I felt as though I was lifting out of my body, I wanted to touch him but he is not real. I took the chance and rose up to meet him and together we formed a “spirit body”, the kind that Taoist monks thought would make a person immortal. And our spirits entwined.

The waves of energy that were exchanged were more powerfully charged than any climax I had experience. I glanced “over there“to see my real body resting peacefully but empty. It was like being in the essence of the orgasim right to the spiritual core of what it is really all about.

His voice was not a sound but a vibration and it felt as though he wanted to cry and yet was filled with joy at the same time. Again Liam said, “Yield to me my love, as I yield to you.”“I love you today as I loved you on the day we were wed, when you made me the happiest man in the world.” “I remember how lovely you looked in the soft white dress decorated with pearls and tiny cloth flowers. The dress my sister made for you. And I recall how blissful we were and how we all ate and drank to much as our clan shared our joy.”

“Merge with my soul and let us be one”, he continued. “Do not be afraid, stay with me a while, I will let you go back to your body again. You are safe with me.”“I could not resist when I heard you call to come and be with you as intimately as a spirit and human can be.” My spirit body was radiating a warm pure white light as I united with him as we joyously became one being.

It is difficult to tell how long this lasted or to describe such an “other worldly” encounter except to say that it felt like the moment just after an organism, when in the afterglow our bodies relax and soak in the pleasure of what we have just experienced. Only it was being sustained for what felt like a very long time. It was the most intensely erotic experience I had ever had and I did not want it to end.

But, Liam, being on the other side, knew when it was time to let go. We promised each other that we would be together some day and that we must wait for each other in the light so that we could be together in the next life.

I don’t know if I would repeat this experiment or take another journey again but I now know that there are many uncharted lands and many experiences to be had both in and out of the body. And I now know one great truth, that love never dies.  Once it is given it remains in the universe to be tapped into at any time.

We said goodbye, for now, and I returned to the corporeal state. I put out the candles and went to bed. But, once the lights were out I felt that I heard my lover’s voice again, it said, “Goodnight Moira”, and I responded “Goodnight Liam.”

1,569 words by Sue Real 2002©