A Foreign Affair

♠Foreign Affair♦

By Sue Real

Today was the kind of brisk November day I craved all through the scalding oppressive dog days of summer in New York.  After meeting with a client, I called a friend to join me for coffee.  Maria is from Columbia, and it may seem like a cliché but she knows about coffee; and I wanted to bring her some place that would make it the way she likes – café con leche.

We met and walked down Greenwich Avenue and the night seemed magical.  The time of year when holidays are just around the corner; and little gift shops display their decorations and tree ornaments to delight kids of all ages.   We stopped into a store that had all kinds of animals, fairies, and ballerinas to hang from the Christmas tree.  Of course, many angels and butterflies, stars and candy canes to top the tree.  Tinsel made of tiny mirrors stringed together to reflect the colored lights are just the thing for the trimming of the tree.  Maria was delighted and the nativity figures reminded her of her homeland. 

We walked along and looked at all kinds of marvelous scarves and sequined pillows that would make excellent gifts.   There were wooden toys that, for the most part, are a thing of the past for kids in the inner city.  Some stores had already decorated and it is not even Thanksgiving but it is so festive ,that inside, I really did not mind. 

As we turned on to eight avenue, I pointed out the bank that became a store for men’s grooming products and an AikidoSchool.  Maria is in New York for about four years but there are always new neighborhoods for her to discover and it is fun showing her around.

And now it was time for the coffee, so we went into La Taza D’oro, the Golden Cup.  The place was packed and it took a long time to get the attention of the camarero and when he came to our table he looked tired and ready to go home.  We ordered fish soup and pernil, a Cuban style ham with plantains and black beans and of course, very strong coffee.

Some people say that coffee is bad for you and I say that Maria must have been drinking it with her infant formula and she does not look any worst for the ware.  I got comfortable and pulled my chair out so the back was against the wall and patiently awaited the hearty food.  And then something happened, a bolt from the blue.  I looked up and saw the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life.  I have been to many countries and seen many handsome men, but I could not take my eyes off of him.  I was so distracted that I could not even pay attention to what Maria was saying to me.  I was mesmerized and enthralled.  All my talk about people not being shallow and judging by the outside went right out the window.

He was young, yet, I could not tell his age because he was wearing a blue cap that hid most of his hair.  What did peak out was black and straight.  He had a chiseled chin and deep set eyes.  But, his body simply put me in a trance.  His arms were pumped but not so excessively and looked sculpted my many hours of hard labor in the gym.  When he turned I saw his shoulders and back that made a V shape like a statue from ancient Greece that graced the tombstones of the people who died at a young age.

I wondered if this perfect creature could speak but I did not care.

 I wanted to devour him and I was drunk with desire for him.  I knew that if I were twenty-five, I would go home with him without even asking his name.  And, once in bed I would think of lots of things to call him such as mon bijoux, ma Colombo, mon amour.   He became aware of the fact that I was staring at him but just kept on with his work making plates of rice and beans for the patrons who came into the place in a steady stream.

No one was aware of my little journey that I was taking at his expense.  However, it did not matter because he was inaccessible to me at any level.  In that short time I felt like I was having an affair with him, undressing him with my imagination.  Wanting to see what treasures lay beneath the crisp white uniform.

I totally forgot myself and felt the temperature rising inside of me and the longing was almost painful.  When the waiter came over to ask if we wanted anything else, I said, unconsciously, I know what I want for dessert and I pointed to the man.  The waiter laughed and when he came back told me that my temporary lover was getting off work at 11.  I know he was only joking but ever time I tried to look away I just found myself drifting back,and at one point our eyes met and he knew.

Maria said, the people in my country are very nice but if you flirt with a man like that, he might think that you will pay him after sex.  That never occurred to me because he was only a fantasy.  And in the space of just over an hour I had lived a lifetime with him and it was painful to say goodbye.  When I left the restaurant and walked out into the damp dark night, I shed a tear not because of the cold but because my heart was breaking to leave my lover and knowing I would never hold him in my arms, kiss him or even know his name. For that brief time he made me happy and giddy and forget all my inhibitions. I immediately crashed the second I left sight of him.  It felt like leaving a foreign county after a brief stay knowing you will never be back or have that experience again.

I thought of the book “Death in Venice”, about the aging lover who tries to hide his age with makeup and hair dyes of poor quality. And walks the streets and pines for young boys he can never have. At that moment, I understood that character in a way I could never have 25 years ago when I first read the story.  Is this all that is left; imaginary lovers, fantasy men, loving from a distance and never getting to taste or smell or feel the object of your desire?  It is too hard to be old and too painful and nothing takes the place of youth.  I am older but I am not wiser and inside I feel like 21 but the mirror tells me no lies.

Good bye,my Latin lover, and good night.

1, 156 words

by Sue Real ©12/2003